You’re son comes home one day, an absent smile playing on his lips. He seems very preoccupied and totally dazed. When you ask him if he’s okay, he answers that he’s fine, a tad too quickly, but you have no way of finding out what the matter is. You’re flummoxed! But here’s an insight into your child’s mind – he’s just back from a successful date!

Hard to believe? You’re probably dismissing this reason already because it’s not possible, your son is just twelve! He doesn’t fully understand what dating means! Well, here’s another tip for you, he’s dating alright and even though he’s not very clued about dating, he’s not too clueless either!

Face it, kids are growing up at an alarmingly fast pace these days! No, not physically, but mentally, they’re maturing way faster than you or me! It’s a scary thing, this evolution! It hits you when you least expect it to.

So what can you do as a parent? Don’t even think of grounding your son, it’s not going to work! He’ll only rebel and go on more dates! In fact, he might even get physical with his “girlfriend” and there’s nothing more scary than that since he doesn’t understand the importance of protection.

As a parent, the first thing you can do is sit down and explain to your son what dating exactly is. Or better still, why not have the “talk” with him! He’s prepared for it, let me tell you! You also need to understand that your son is mentally more mature than you were at twelve.

Then, when the opportunity arises and your son is in a good mood, tell him that you are against him dating anyone this early. Yet, at the same time, you don’t mind if he goes out in a group with his friends of the opposite sex. You can even call them over for some supervised “fun time”! That way, you’ll at least be aware of what your son is up to! Make your house, your son and his friends’ hangout, it might be a bit of trouble, but it’s worth it, for your peace of mind!

A recent survey reveals that if a child has been on his first date between the ages of 11 and 13, the chances of him being sexually active in high school are about 90%! Pretty scary that, eh? Well, do ensure that you do your bit to keep your child away from trouble!

You’re dreading the moment, but it is inevitable! You just can’t stop it from happening, you have to introduce the not-so-new man in your life to your son. It’s going to be hard and there will be some friction, but it is a necessary evil! By keeping your son in the dark about your relationship, you are not only being unfair to him, you’re also undermining the importance of your partner in your life.

It is very important to pick your moment carefully. There is no point introducing someone who you’re dating casually to your kids. It just doesn’t make sense to do that and moreover, it doesn’t set a very good example. How many such “would-be dads” will float in and out of your life? You should introduce your child to your partner, only when you’re thinking of something long-term and when you’re sure that they’re going to be around next month.

It is cruel to introduce your child to a prospective father or mother only to tell them in a month’s time that they won’t be coming around anymore. Your child will form an attachment to your date and is going to expect to “live happily ever after”, but that’s not going to happen and your child will be crushed.

The best thing to do, before you introduce your kids to your date, is to prepare both parties. Explain to your kids what you’re about to do so that it isn’t a total shock to them when you decide to bring home your date. At the same time, acquaint your partner about your children, their likes and dislikes and other interesting things about them which will play a part in breaking the ice. In fact, my son and my partner, who lives with us, share a common interest in photography! They sit together and talk about it for hours and hours!

Another mistake that parents make, while introducing their children to their partner is that they tend to tell them to be on their best behavior! That is taboo! You need to let your children be themselves and as relaxed as they can be, because no matter how hard you try, it’s going to be a very awkward encounter, making it more difficult for your children will achieve nothing! Remember this, children’s feelings are fragile and delicate, make them your priority and do remember to make them feel that their opinions are important to you.

We, as parents always feel proud of our ways of parenting and think that we are doing a great job. We take a lot of pride in thinking that our children need us in every step for our guidance and trust. We fell as great sense of joy and pride when our children look up to us to lead them in every step of their life.

Are we doing the right things as parents? When we sit back and think about it, then the question arises in our mind that whether they are responsible, independent enough to tackle the pressure of our society. We have to teach them the survival strategies to face the complex world which is interdependent, so that they can survive without the help of their parents.

Some parents always expect their children to turn out well in all spheres of life and so they put excessive pressure on their children. Rarely, the children do well, instead these children rebel, resist, act out, get depressed and become very arrogant. Now these are the parents who guide their children occasionally and they think of themselves as a successful parent when their children become a grown, independent adult with a self esteem.

You as a parent should never use the word, “should” or “must” or “ought” quite frequently to your child because this will show your child that you as a parent know what the best is for your child. The child will know that his or her decisions, judgments are not taken into account. Guidance by you, as a parent is only to be given when it is requested by your child.

Stop being the judge of your child’s actions. Let the child learn from the mistakes of his or her life and do not let them fall back to you every time there is a problem which they might just face. You have to be humble even if you are with your child. Let your child know that even parents can make mistakes. Give them your support to find out the answers to the problem by themselves. Your child may listen to you and might jst confirm to all your rules and this just might even be out of fear but then this way they will learn to become independent.

You may note a remarkable change in your child once adolescence starts, because, adolescence is a stage of physical, mental, emotional and social change. All of a sudden your bubbly, extrovert child, becomes an introvert. Some adolescents become shy and they start spending most of the time at home, either studying or sitting inside the room.

He or she refuses to mix with friends or even go out with them. You have to boost up the confidence level of your child. Let your child know that their friends are welcome to come to your house. Give them time to adjust to this new phase of their life and slowly they will come around.

He or she will become much disorganized at this stage, you will see towels thrown on the bed, shirts and pants on the floor, school books scattered on the bed and the room looking like a waste paper basket. Do not nag on them to clear their room because they have experienced the freedom of suing the word no on your which they can now do.

The best way to deal with the situation is to let them go, because it is no longer right for you to order them, which will only lead to battles between the two of you. According to an adolescent, any sort of interference from the parents is like a threat which is to their independence.

If your child never cleans up the room, let it be, because a day will come when they are unable to find a single thing out of this mess. This is the time that they will be bound to clean up the room. Let them decide from heir own mistakes. Adolescence is a period when there is increasing influence of the peer groups. Whereas, parents are faced with the problem of decreasing level of communication with the adolescent child.

It is an advice to the parents to have a close monitoring of the activities of the child. A balance between the behavior of the child and between providing independence to your adolescent must be maintained by you, since you are the parent here. The more you go into confrontation with your child, the less likely the child is going to give you the correct information. Respect their opinions and give due importance to all their thoughts as well as their feelings.

The first few weeks of being a foster parent is very hard. You have to prepare yourself mentally if you wan tot be one. The immediate skill you need to be a foster parent is that you have to have a lot of patience and you need to have a very strong grip over your emotions, this is because you will have to say goodbye when the time comes.

Now being a foster parent is actually going to have a huge impact on your marriage if you are married as well as your family life. You have to prepare your children and immediate family members and take their help in trying to make a decision about trying to add a new family member to your life.

When you bring home your foster child, make sure that you check the immunization records, do all the paper work regarding the foster work correctly. Before you bring your foster child to your home, make sure you set up a room for your foster child. You have to have patience to deal with your foster child. It is very difficult to understand and then parent a child who has suffered a grief, pain or even abuse.

You have to understand the grief of your foster child to help the child live happily again, in a healthy environment. When you first bring the child to your home, the child is scared and ready to think about the worst in you. Make yourself open to the child, you have to let him or her know that you are ready to listen.

The child will be too scared to ask; it is your duty as a parent to greet and ask the child whether he or she is hungry or thirsty or needs anything, so that the child feels reassured that his or her basic needs will be looked after.

Give him or her some space, some may talk or some may be too scared or bottled up to speak. Always be honest with the child and lay out your plans for future visit with the kids family. Show them the whole house and the room which you have prepared for the child. It is very important to start your role as a parent once your foster child enters your home but you also have to set the rules and the boundaries.