You’re dreading the moment, but it is inevitable! You just can’t stop it from happening, you have to introduce the not-so-new man in your life to your son. It’s going to be hard and there will be some friction, but it is a necessary evil! By keeping your son in the dark about your relationship, you are not only being unfair to him, you’re also undermining the importance of your partner in your life.
It is very important to pick your moment carefully. There is no point introducing someone who you’re dating casually to your kids. It just doesn’t make sense to do that and moreover, it doesn’t set a very good example. How many such “would-be dads” will float in and out of your life? You should introduce your child to your partner, only when you’re thinking of something long-term and when you’re sure that they’re going to be around next month.
It is cruel to introduce your child to a prospective father or mother only to tell them in a month’s time that they won’t be coming around anymore. Your child will form an attachment to your date and is going to expect to “live happily ever after”, but that’s not going to happen and your child will be crushed.
The best thing to do, before you introduce your kids to your date, is to prepare both parties. Explain to your kids what you’re about to do so that it isn’t a total shock to them when you decide to bring home your date. At the same time, acquaint your partner about your children, their likes and dislikes and other interesting things about them which will play a part in breaking the ice. In fact, my son and my partner, who lives with us, share a common interest in photography! They sit together and talk about it for hours and hours!
Another mistake that parents make, while introducing their children to their partner is that they tend to tell them to be on their best behavior! That is taboo! You need to let your children be themselves and as relaxed as they can be, because no matter how hard you try, it’s going to be a very awkward encounter, making it more difficult for your children will achieve nothing! Remember this, children’s feelings are fragile and delicate, make them your priority and do remember to make them feel that their opinions are important to you.
